


Tidewave

by asongwritteneasily



Series: Changes [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Unrequired Love, a bit depressing, autoimposed one sided love, just because joong is stubborn, may fix it later with a sequel, no beta we die like men, sorry Hwa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongwritteneasily/pseuds/asongwritteneasily
Summary: If ATEEZ was waves, then Hongjoong was the tide and every little shift and motion of his little packrat of a family affected him on unsuspected ways. He was tired of dealing with Wooyoung and San dancing (or not) around each other, but he was not tired of running away from his own unresolved something with certain star eyed boy.OrHongjoong becomes an acquaintance of that famous river on Egypt featuring Seonghwa.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: Changes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925554
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	Tidewave

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of companion/sequel to Smoke and Ashes, don't have to read it to understand this one but it will be appreciated ;)

Hongjoong thought himself as a patient man.

But seeing Wooyoung wrapped around San and practically sneaking a kiss on plain sight, on a fansign, with hundred of phones and camaras ready to snap the one million won picture was enough for him to lose it.

“You two, stop it.” Seonghwa’s tone was playful but his eyes were not, carrying a freezing quality to his words. “Sanie come here, sit with me.”

What an overkill, his mind provided while at the same time suspicion settled on his chest.

Were they upgrading their game or...?

He narrowed his eyes, as San ruffled Wooyoung’s hair, kissing his knuckles as the public cooed at them and sitting next to Seonghwa, pouting; the playfulness was there still but the softness underneath was new.

Something was off.

Back at their dorms, Yunho the poor kind soul, was evicted by Wooyoung once again as he locked himself and San on the later shared room and Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose; there was a reason why they didn’t let them room together and it was simple enough, to not let their management start suspecting things that weren’t there on the first place.

But hell, even Hongjoong was starting to have his own doubts.

“What is going on?”

He asked to none in particular, looking at the ceiling like it will give him an answer, instead he got a tap on his shoulder and he looked at Seonghwa who tilted his head toward their room, he frowned because what it could be that they couldn’t discuss in the open? He dreaded to think it was exactly what he was suspecting to be.

Once on their room, Seonghwa watched him silently as they settled on his bed, sitting slightly apart from each other.

“They are together, you know.” Seonghwa huffed half exasperated, half fond. “I told San to not act on it but I guess Wooyoung convinced him that it was a good idea.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened.

What? He suppressed a shudder at the implication of it; they were not longer a game, not longer something to rile fans up, and suddenly he became acutely aware that they actually were two kids, barely on their twenties, maybe in love, maybe fooling around, living in close quarters and if that wasn’t enough to panic about they were Korean, idols and public.

And Hongjoong was in charge of them.

He felt, bodily, the headache all but suckerpunching him in his gut; hundreds of scenarios going terribly wrong swarm him, he didn’t notice he was hyperventilating until Seonghwa grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

He recoiled, mentally and physically from the touch.

Seonghwa made a face, retracting his hand to his own lap; Hongjoong didn’t want to hurt him but maybe it was better off that way. It was not he didn’t like Seonghwa, god knew they were dancing around each other as much as San and Wooyoung only their relationship kept shifting and changing and getting unsteady the more they try to ignore it. 

Maybe it was better to be the one who got away.

Because Hongjoong was a sacrificial bastard, always putting his team before himself and he only could deal with one secret relationship on his group and it wasn’t going to be his; plus, weren’t Seonghwa and himself rather platonic? He wanted to believe that.

“Sorry, I...” He runned a hand through his head. “That was a lot to take in.”

Seonghwa eyed him with a bit of incredulity reflected on his expression.

“Really?” He said crossing his arm. “It was rather obvious to me. There is a limit of how much you can act for the cameras it was obvious they were falling for each other.”

It was Hongjoong’s turn to eyed the other man, wondering.

“I thought it was more... platonic.” He said and somehow he got the feeling they weren’t discussing San and Wooyoung anymore. “You know, just really close friends, workmates.”

Seonghwa smiled but the smile was edged with contempt and suddenly Hongjoong was angry as well; the other was just a hopeless romantic, just like their fans, they wanted to find love in the worse way without measuring the consequences.

Hongjoong was a more practical individual and for him, this whole ordeal just meant a hindrance; what if they fight? What if they broke up? Would they be able to continue to work together if they are exes? Why the other was looking at him like he expected something to happen now those two dumb kids were out and about? 

“Listen hyung.” Hongjoong said in what he believed was a placating tone. “I’m just worried, it is such a bad idea.”

Seonghwa hummed, standing up and grabbing his towel as he walked toward the door, he didn’t look at Hongjoong once; he felt like he just broke something and there was no way to fixing in it, not now.

“If you said so.”

He wasn’t so sure it was a bad idea anymore.

The thing was, Seonghwa changed after that day.

No, that sounded way too dramatic; Seonghwa shifted and Hongjoong didn’t understand the expression ‘you don't know what you've got till it's gone’ until well, now. It wasn’t like anything really changed between them but somehow their interaction felt a mile away from what they were.

He did not longer knew who rejected whom.

Did they ever?

Hongjoong was sporting a hole in his chest and black smudges under his eyes and he missed the galaxy in Seonghwa’s gaze every time he looked at him; now there was ice on its depths and the cold was directed to him, full force.

It numbed him.

It soothed him.

Seonghwa needed to let it go, let him go even if neither of them really wanted to because it was the wrong time and the wrong place and they were the wrong people; he stumbled over their doorstep and wished he was drunk rather than deadly tired.

Seonghwa not longer waited for him awake. 

Hongjoong couldn’t blame him for it; why would he wait for him?

The clock glared at him with the hour and he tried very hard to not make any noise; he was under the covers in minutes, drifting to sleep.

“Are we that bad for each other, Joong?” Seonghwa voice, wet and sleepy reached him, unbound. “Do you really want us to be just friends?”

Hongjoong turned around, away from the other and closed his eyes tightly.

He let the silence answer.

And just like that, he smothered the last chance to fix them, scattered the pieces of the maybe into never happened.

And he kept repeating to himself.

It was better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> This is sad, sorry :c didn’t plan to turned this way and I may write a sequel to fix it (?) kudos inspired me!


End file.
